I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
