Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
