Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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