It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
