I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
