The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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