So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
