i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
