You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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