it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Randomize
