nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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