You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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