woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
