PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
