Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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