Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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