Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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