We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
