I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
