im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
