Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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