don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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