I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
