I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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