That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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