I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
