So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
