So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
