I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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