is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
