so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
