**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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