Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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