so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
