I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize