found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
