Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
