her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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