Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
