3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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