i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
