I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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