sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
