basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My ass is underappreciated
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
