i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize