Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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