Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
