I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize