ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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