On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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