sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Couch. On fire.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
