11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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