I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
