You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
