I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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