Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just saw a hot homeless man
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
His hands were made for my vagina.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
