I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
