Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
