I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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