I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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