It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize