Swine flu. Run for my life!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
