just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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